English is a Stupid Language

Let's face it: English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant, no ham in the hamburger and
neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England, French fries were not
invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted. But if we examine its paradoxes we
find that Quicksand takes you down slowly, boxing rings are square and
guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. If writers write, how
come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of phone booth be
phone beeth.
If the teacher taught, why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play yet play at a recital? Park on driveways
and drive on parkways.
And more ... Some food for "Thought".
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person
who drives a race car not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that
electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models
deposed, tree surgeons debarked and dry cleaners depressed?
Why is it that if someone tells you that there are 1 billion stars in the
universe you will believe them, but if they tell you a wall has wet paint you will
have to touch it to be sure?

If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times,
does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called "Poles," why aren't people from Holland
called "Holes?"